In preparing for the media ethnography that I will conduct, I have analyzed my own use of media and how it affects both my production and representation of identity. In this blog post, I have delineated my main media experiences and uses. For each one I will look at how often I use it, why I use it, how my identity is reflected and reshaped through the use, why I believe other people use that type of media, and finally how it could be used for academic purposes. By looking at several different types of media, I will begin to outline the function and effects of media usage and how it serves to both aid in our everyday lives and to affect who we are and how we interact with ourselves and the social world.
Televison
The main media form that I interact with is television. On a general level, I watch television for many purposes. I watch television as an escape. Often times I turn on the TV after a stressful day in order to unwind. I will watch it as I am doing homework so that I can look up and get lost into a different character for a few minutes (or hours) and leave the work of my day behind. I watch television when I go running on the treadmill, as it becomes something to take my mind off of the task at hand. I am able to allow the television to consume me as I become lost into another world.
Television is also a social function. I will get together with my friends and we will watch our favorite television shows with a bowl of popcorn. Or we will talk to each other about what happened last night or how we felt when so and so did this or what will happen next.
Television becomes its own discourse. I use it as a way to express myself or I will use it to live vicariously though someone else. Its ability to portray “real life” in a visual story format makes it an ideal format to express certain themes or situations in a classroom. For example, if I wanted to show different representations of families, I could show my class a video of Full House on the same day that I show them an episode of The Simpsons. This could just be a simple way of showing how families differ and how they operate day to day. It would also show how we represent families, how we respond to these representations, and how we see ourselves in the families that we watch, whether or not that is accurate or not.
Grey's Anatomy
To expand on this role of television in my life, I will briefly concentrate on a particular television show that I used to watch, Grey’s Anatomy. This show is filled with drama and conflict, and thus it becomes an easy outlet for escape, as you can easily become consumed in who is dating who or if one of the characters is going to die. It is also a very social phenomenon. When the show first came out, everyone was talking about it. I have adopted and created a new vernacular based on this show as I have often times expressed myself through the representation and my identification with the characters. I remember one time when I told my friend that she was my “Christina” from the show, because I wanted her to know that she was my absolute best friend. I even used Meredith’s quote, that my boyfriend was “the love of my life but my best friend was my soul mate.” We are able to describe drama queens or players by comparing them to the characters on the show. This demonstrates an ability to identify and interact with the show. We do not watch the show passively. We enter in to it as we identify and compare our own selves with it.
We begin to change how we see the world based on our viewing of that show. I think that this is something that is easily missed or ignored. However, it is true that most television shows that I watch change my viewpoints and my own construction of identity in some way. When I watch Grey’s Anatomy I am exposed to certain representations of friendship, romance, wealth, social class, and gender expectations. My own viewpoint of the world is altered as I see these rather upper-class educated people search for love and battle through conflict. I begin to seek out my own “McDreamy.” I remember after watching one episode where there was a shooting in the hospital, I suddenly saw the world through a much more skeptical and cautious eye. I still find myself shuddering as I walk down the street, as I have become aware that you cannot be secure in your safety. You can never stop someone from coming into your life and taking it all away even if you never did anything to them. One second you can be fine and the next second you are hit by a bus. This show really exposed me to my own futility as well as the social dangers and anxieties in the world.
I believe that the show is mainly geared toward women, as most medical dramas and romances are watched by women. It infiltrates enough soap opera storylines within it in order to attract a vicarious audience who wish to live through the romantic and emotional struggles and ecstasies of these characters. I believe that the show wants its audience to assume that vicarious approach to viewing. The show often invites its viewers to see who their McDreamy is and most of the discussion around the show is about when two characters are going to get together, etc. The show asks us to desire to be rich, smart, and in love. These characters are created as the ideal. They are people to respect and people to live up to. They save the day each and every episode. They lead the glamorous lives that are worthy of revering.
Video Games
The second media outlet that I used to utilize extensively was role-playing video games. In order to look at how these games affected and expressed my identity, I will focus on a single game and discuss it in depth. The video game I will focus on is Final Fantasy.
Final Fantasy
I would play Final Fantasy for hours. The game was a series of adventures and steps that the player must take. There were a series of twists and turns and unexpected surprises that you had to battle though before it came to an end. Unlike many games that can be finished in a few hours or where you just fight a few battles and then choose to stop, this game was a series of stories, battles, and adventures that built off of one another. Once you beat one level, you were exposed to an entirely new story line and path ahead. This made it seem almost impossible to find a stopping point, as there was always something else that had to be done. The story never ended and there were cliffhangers and adrenaline rushes that kept you wanting more.
While the game is a one player game, it was still very social. I would often play side by side with someone else who was playing the same game. Or we would be playing it and we would talk to each other about the storylines and give each other clues and hints about how to beat the next land, etc. Since I was not particular good at the game, I would often have to seek help as to where to go next or how to beat a certain bad guy. It was impossible for me to beat the game on my own, thus I had to interact socially in order to prevail.
The game really had elements for everyone. There were strategic elements to it. There was pure battle, mapping, card playing, and many different storylines. While my brother used to play in order to collect enough spheres and create the strongest and unbeatable characters imaginable, I used to play in order to see the romance between two of the characters unfold. I would want to beat a certain level just so I could see the character kissing in the water afterward. Of course I also enjoyed the strategic aspects of the game. However, I think that my identity is clearly exemplified by what I desired most from the game. I assumed my natural, prescribed gender stereotypes, I looked for the talk of emotions and love instead of the battles and bloodshed.
Because these games allowed you to become the main character, they allowed the players to live vicariously though them. You became the person who was beating up on the bad guys and you became the person that was finding love. I think that these games constructed my identity in many ways. Not only did they teach me about relationships, and the trials and tribulations you have to go though before you can experience them, but they also showed me about good and bad and right and wrong. By playing these games I became more able to justify my actions. In these games it was okay to fight someone because you were doing it for the greater good. Before these games, I often saw the world as more black and white. However, as I grew up with these games I began to realize that what I saw as right or wrong was often personal and could also be adapted and altered based on the expectations and the trials in front of me.
Video games are often seen as the things that boys do when they are young instead of homework. They spend hours on end in the basements, pale as can be, eating chips and playing with their joysticks. However, I think that the power of video games is so much more than that. People can learn a lot though these games. Not only did I gain a more extensive vocabulary though them, but I also learned the elements of story and I became more socially connected. These games were a social outlet for me, as I could play them and discuss them with my brothers and my peers. I felt cool because I was playing the same games as my older brothers.
As far as how I would implement these games in a classroom, I would certainly want students to expand their ideas on reading to include things like video games. I think that often times students think that reading is only sitting down with a long book in front of them. However, games like this are just as much reading as a book is. Not only are there physical words on the screen but there are situations and storylines to decode. I would want my students to include this form of literacy in their everyday and to expand their scope and understand the opportunities for knowledge that are out there. I think that would include the use of things like video games to a choice for book reports, etc. I would want to teach my students to view these types of stories critically. I would want them to respond to these games and to be able to extend what we learn about identity construction, arguments, and the creation of story, to these video games and other past time experiences as well.
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